i am lost...

its been a while since i had this feeling..it only felt like yesterday that we were all in high school having our own carefree life but now we are actually all grown up and we got so much more responsibility..

it was yesterday that it felt like graduate from high school and yet it felt like only yesterday that i graduated from uni.. i took out my transcript the other day and i realised that in july, it would have been two full years that i have graduated and all the plans of studying masters and phd suddenly seem so far away.. the dream of working for a bank seems to drift away as well...


to work for your dad is something you learn but it is always going to be much easier than working for someone else as you do not actually have to work as hard but realisticly speaking you work even harder when required because its your own business..

when everything seems so right, everything seems to be in the right direction i suddenly hit a brick wall.. i dunno what i should do because its been a while since i am feeling what i am feeling now...

the last tiem i felt this way was 2003-2005 and that was a good 4 years ago.. somehow i like this feeling because of the way it feels but yet again you feel lost because you do not know how to proceed.. should you listen to your heart and do what you think is best but run the risk of rejection or should you listen to other factors and stop where you are to run risk of failure....

failure is a harsh harsh thing isnt it but i beleive if you dont try you never fail, if you dont fail and fall how would you learn to pick up yourself.. just like when you start walking.. you stoop up u walked a bit then u fall down and it repeats itself over and over before finally knowing how to walk in the end...

all i want to do is see that smile on your face~~